My wife is insatiable, and I can't really keep up with her. OK, this is normally a good thing, am I right, guys? In the real world, I might go days at a time where I won't feel like having sex -- stress from work is usually the reason. Any day that I feel relaxed, I'm usually good to go.
But sometimes I'll wake up in the morning perhaps from having a hot dream and really be in the mood.
Alas, my wife is usually up and out of the house before me and so I'm on my own at that exact moment, and I indulge myself. I believe it's every person's right to "indulge" themselves as much as they want, but my wife gets angry with me for doing this. She believes I'm wasting my mood bank or sex drive or chi or whatever, which I should be saving up for her. The fact that she even knows I do it surprises me -- I assume she's doing detective work to determine if the lube has been touched.
I leave no obvious evidence at the "scene of the crime. And she'll pout for a whole day or more about this.
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I certainly don't want to have our sex life reduced to me being her sex slave, but I'm beginning to feel like that. Am I wrong to feel she's being oppressive?
Whose penis is it, anyway? It's yours, right? If it's yours, you can do what you want with it, right? Paint it red, white and blue if you want. Perhaps that would appeal to your wife's patriotic instincts, and she would take it upon herself to aid in your morning ministrations.
Unless perhaps she follows Jewish law, which prohibits male masturbation. But seriously, folks, while it is a commonplace today that masturbation is perfectly OK and does not unduly deplete insatiable lady wanting to talk dirty male energy or whatever, it is not wholly unreasonable for a partner to feel that the sex one has with oneself represents a refusal to give of the self to the other.
I would be sensitive to such feelings, even if it may also feel as though your wife is being controlling or crossing some boundary of privacy. It's not for nothing that the world's great religions have concerned themselves with this matter. It is not trivial. So keep those hands above the covers! Just kidding.
It's your penis. Do what you want to do. I finished with my long-term boyfriend five months ago he wanted to get married, I didn't and have been merrily splashing around the dating pool ever since. When it comes to relationships, I tend to be a 0-toinseconds kind of girl, so I've never really "dated" before.
It's great fun!
I'm 26, and it finally feels like I've hit my stride. A few weeks ago, I met a man who makes my heart sing. He's a dreamy but determined green-eyed man of the earth, a proud papa who's prone to making up spontaneous silly songs about his young son.
He says he's stayed in past relationships too long, so now he wants to take his time and a good look around before making any promises. Fine by me. I'm looking to change my pattern too. I have a bad habit of putting the rest of my life on hold when I'm in insatiable lady wanting to talk dirty, and right now I really need to finish college and figure out what I want to do when I grow up. He lives miles away, which is a bonus in my book.
It means we'll have plenty of time to do our own things should we become each other's main squeeze. It's been three days since I spent the night with this amazing fella and I'm still glowing. I've never felt so comfortable with a new lover.
Here's the problem: Now that we've done the deed, I can't shake these nasty twinges of guilt and awkwardness. They're really ticking me off! I don't believe physical intimacy and committed relationships need necessarily go hand in hand. And I'm certain that on both our parts, jumping straightaway into something serious wouldn't work. So why can't I live in the moment and enjoy this sweet, indefinable thing we've got? How do I silence this niggling voice that keeps squawking, "I can't believe you fell for that! Ha ha ha, you're so easy"?
Women who want sex constantly
As far as I can tell, nice guys actually appreciate a woman who jumps into bed with them right away. They don't figure she's some dirty slut. That's old-fashioned. Today they just figure she's smart and has good taste. But you're going to have to walk around containing all these bubbly feelings, and you probably don't have much experience fashioning a steady relationship out of bubbly and effervescent magic.
Just try to remain calm and see where it goes. Sure, you're going to be nervous; just be nervous. If you have twinges of guilt and awkwardness, just have twinges of guilt and awkwardness. You don't have to do anything about them. They're just feelings. It's all quite natural.
Can you comment on year-old men who go berserk? That have the Dan Rather syndrome -- you know, really cry-ey, very emotional; worse than girls. Is it hormones? I have just finished with one who was this way, and very possessive and manipulative too.
He hid it well for a few months, then it all came out. He compromised the safety of some people we were working with in the political realm; it was just unbelievable. I am so shaken and sickened I don't ever want to date a man again. I am 41 and usually have a very good sense of who I am dealing with; this yo-yo fooled me. I want to cap him. Of course I won't but I am enraged and it still hasn't gone away. I tried talking to him but he lives in a world of self-delusion, wants to blame other people for what he did all on his lonesome.
What a loss. Any insight you might have would be appreciated. In my private reply to you, I asked if you could supply more details, and since you said you couldn't because you feared compromising the identities of the people involved, I can only comment in a general way. I must admit I'm fascinated by the sense of fiery drama singeing the edges of this cryptic missive.
But I have also witnessed with some skepticism the nearly erotic air of drama, martyrdom and victimhood with which some members of fringe political causes justify insatiable lady wanting to talk dirty impassioned and futile campaigns against intractable powers.
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So I remain curious about what sort of political realm you were working in, and continue to believe that any real solution to your described troubles lies in the details of what happened between you and this man. Nevertheless, while I can't say much, I do know about sudden expensive motorcycle purchase syndrome and midlife-onset facial hair.
When you realize you'll be 60 in less than a decade, you kind of wig out. Who wouldn't? Men haven't been burdened with age-consciousness their whole lives, so it can hit with the force of a fatal disease when it finally dawns on them.
So you wanted to cap him but you didn't? That was darn nice of you. Tell him not to cry, everything's going to be OK. And go out with younger guys. Their motorcycles are cheaper and they work on them themselves, which purifies the spirit.
I've been dating a woman now for five years. With the exception of one year in the same city, we've had a long-distance relationship but we see each other at least once a month and talk every day.
And how to overcome it
The problem is that it's getting to the point where I feel that I should either ask her insatiable lady wanting to talk dirty marry me or break it off. Yet I feel that there's something missing. Part of it is that I've never really had another serious relationship and keep on wondering whether the grass would be greener elsewhere.
I wish that I could pause the relationship, have another one and then come back. Now I'm going to Spain for a year. My girlfriend has made it clear that she expects a ring on my return or else it's over. On one hand, this seems like the perfect opportunity for me to date on the sly without her ever knowing and getting a sense of perspective on our relationship. But I don't feel that I can do that without telling her, and I think that she might call off the relationship if I even suggested such an "open relationship.