When the pressure is too much, we find ourselves struggling with what to say. Most of the time, these situations are deemed awkward, nerve-wracking, or embarrassing. The good news is that there are techniques that you can utilize for these exact moments.
2. don’t be judgemental
Add a little social psychology to a person-centered approach and you have the perfect formula for mastering conversation making! Here are the golden nuggets to help you talk about anything with anyone and improve your interpersonal communication skills :. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention….
A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words. Rachel Naomi Remen. To improve your listenings skills, it can be helpful to figure out what gets in the way of effective listening.
One common problem is thinking of what we are new people to talk to to say in reply while they are still talking. According to the great psychologist Carl Rogers, the key to good listening is to refrain from making judgments and to provide a safe environment for speakers. The next time you find yourself talking to someone, step back and truthfully assess your beliefs when interacting. Many of us make snap judgments when we communicate with others, according to author Judith Johnson. But when we treat people like this, we are either accepting or rejecting someone or something they said.
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These judgments can severely damage our conversations and the ability to develop a rapport with others. Spend 5 minutes analyzing the chatter in your mind and I bet that there are constant judgments and assumptions. However, a better way to communicate is to cultivate an attitude of curiosity to understand why people act the way they do.
As we mentioned above, try to just take in the message without harboring preconceived judgments. Ask questions to understand more.
Keep an open mind. After all, nobody likes a know-it-all.
We’re social beings. even uncomfortable conversations are good for our wellbeing.
Try to put yourself in the shoes of the speaker. People love to be seen and heard so when you empathize with them, they will feel comfortable in your presence. It allows there to be a safe space where they can share anything without fear of being criticized.
With empathic listening, the conversation becomes all about the other person.
1. get to know people around you on a deeper level
It allows the speaker to feel safe, valued and understood. It means leaving your own stories and experiences at the door. Remember, the key here is to listen to them in a non-judgmental fashion, put yourself in their shoes and ask follow-up questions. For example, if you think that the person is uncomfortable with where the conversation is heading, change the topic. This is particularly common when the talk is about politics, religion, and sex. Not everyone enjoys a heavy subject, some people would rather keep things light. Sometimes we forget to watch our body and we communicate unintended messages.
Smile when appropriate: Smiling gets the positive vibes going and will make you appear nice and trustworthy. According to a study :. Not only does smiling make you physically feel better, but according to researchsmiling makes you seem courteous, likable and competent. Another tip to make a good first impression is to talk slow, according to FBI behavior expert Robin Dreeke.
2. start small with people you know
According to researchwhen people talk about themselves, it triggers the same sensation of pleasure in the brain as food or money. After all, we all have a bit of conversational narcissism in us. FBI behavior expert Robin Dreeke says that the one strategy he keeps at the forefront of his mind when he talks to anyone is non-judgmental validation. People do not want to be judged in any thought or opinion that they have or in any action that they take.
Validation is taking the time to understand what their needs, wants, dreams and aspirations are.
Learn how to reduce stress, cultivate healthy relationships, handle people you don't like and find your place in the world. Richard Wiseman ran a study that looked into what topics work best on a first date. He found that the most successful topic leading to the best impression was travel.
According to researcher Dan New people to talk to, when in doubt, you should go for something personally revealing, such as how many relationships have they had? According to Scientific American:.
2. be prepared to initialize contact.
Because everyone has the right to their own. Debates can make for a fun conversation, but when you first meet someone, it can also cause you to start off on the wrong foot and end up with it in your mouth. Every person is unique in terms of experiences and perspectives. People can give you a new outlook on life or add to your existing ones.
How to make a good first impression
According to Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph. You can expand your knowledge of other regions, cultures, and nations, ultimately making you a more interesting conversationalist as well. It only takes a listening ear and interest for you to expand your knowledge of other regions, cultures, and nations.
Armed with this new information, you can become a more interesting conversationalist as well. Also, focusing on the message allows you to be a better conversationalist as well. Just taking in what is actually said and responding to it will make your conversations 10 times better.
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If you want to know a variety of topics for a good conversation starter, start reading or familiarizing yourself with what is happening today. Current events are absolutely the best way to have enough topics to bring up in any conversation. Just let the person know that you have a little bit of knowledge about it. It will prompt the person to share what he or she knows.
Harriet Swain in The Guardian explains new people to talk to key difference:. The former is about being able to ask intelligent questions in seminars, engage in debate about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and realise that two of your tutors are having an affair. The latter is about passing on information on all of these subjects to everyone you know, even if you are not entirely sure the information is true.
Many people find that this initial phase provokes anxiety. They hope that sharing private details will quickly take the relationship to the next level. Who knows?
Clinical psychologist Dr. Suzana E. Flores in Mic offers some great questions to ask yourself before sharing personal details about yourself in regards to social media use. So when you think that you often find yourself getting nervous around strangers, force yourself to learn how to talk to people. According to Yale neuroscientist Daeyeol Lee, the best way to learn is to enter new and novel environments:.
Start taking small steps like offering your input during meetings. The biggest problem people have is never the nerves themselves, but the desire to get rid of them. The fastest and easiest way to make people talk is to ask open-ended questions.
Because communication is a two-way process, it is better if you shift the focus from yourself to the other person through asking. Open-ended questions require a person to reflect and think. What kind of challenges do you have with running? It gets people to share what their priorities in life are at that point in time. Just say whatever it is that you want to say. This gives you plenty to talk about and new ways to connect with others.